This regards IRON FIST on Netflix, and contains spoilers for episode 4/5 (not sure which).
At one point, Danny shows up at Wing’s dojo, uninvited (red flag) and clearly unwelcome after he has been stalking her for some time (red flag) and assaulted one of her students (not that he cares, because Iron Fisting or something, red flag), with “takeout” (a catering service from a romantic food place, as a result of his cluelessness, but red flag) so he can “talk to her about something.” (Red. Flag.)
He interrupts Colleen when she’s in the middle of teaching Claire (yay!) how to fight. (You know, that whole female agency/empowerment thing? Gotta interrupt that, right away.) And then he won’t leave despite the fact that they’re in the middle of a lesson. I mean, if he can’t respect women or boundaries, at *LEAST* he can respect actual training sessions, right? Nope, apparently not. (RED FLAG.)
She asks if it’s a date, and he assures her that no, it’s not a date, definitely not, unless *puppy eyes* that’s what she wants. And thank God she says “no, it’s not,” because *Jesus*, man, get it together, just a little. (Also? RED FLAG!)
When Colleen is understandably hesitant to have lunch with him (because ALL THE RED FLAGS!), Claire volunteers to give up the rest of her session and join them for lunch. And note–this is important–Danny says “no, that’s not necessary,” and Colleen says “no, that’s a great idea.”
She is visibly and narratively relieved to have an ally at that table. It’s flagged quite clearly right here.
And then during the conversation, it comes up that Danny has sworn a vow of chastity, and Colleen is OMG relieved, because *Jesus.* But at the same time, creeps sometimes trick their marks into a false sense of security, so she stays super wary. (Which is good, because she’s the best character in this show.)
And the worst part for me, I think, is that we’re supposed to root for this relationship. We the audience are supposed to wonder why Colleen’s not falling into Danny’s arms. Because he’s the hero, of course he gets the girl. (And let’s not kid ourselves here–he will. That’s just how Marvel rolls.)
I’m deeply suspicious of any message that justifies stalkery harassment with “social ineptitude” or “cultural difference.” We get enough of that “oh, he’s just socially inept–don’t mind the sexist rants on Twitter” crap in real life. Danny grew up in a context of respect and acknowledgment of others, right? So why does he do this shit? If I were Danny, I’d back way the hell off and exercise a little patience and, I dunno, *wisdom.*
This is a terrible, *terrible* message that they’re putting out there.
Maybe the show is going to redeem this kind of stalkery, boundary-pushing behavior, then ok, but considering the graceless way they’ve done everything so far, I’m not holding my breath.